Smober…A journey of 1,096 days
Your Quit Date is: Monday, May 11, 2009 at 12:00:00 AM
Time Smoke-Free: 1096 days, 5 hours, 50 minutes and 50 seconds
Cigarettes NOT smoked: 21,925
Lifetime Saved: 5 months, 17 days, 11 hours
Money Saved: J$586,360.00
So today marks another year, 3 years smober, another landmark achieved!! At the start of 2012 I resolved not to make New Year’s resolutions, but rather to set goals for myself. The “top line” goal I made for myself was to focus on being “healthy” and being “well”, both in the physical and the mental. Part of being healthy was continuing on the journey of being a non-smoker. It’s funny that even though there are countless days when the thought of a cigarette does not even enter my mind, there are the random occasions when I say to myself “damn I could use a cigarette”. These are normally times of high stress, when rather than facing the situation I would welcome the distraction of my old crutch, the cigarette. However, I remind myself of the journey and the effort it took me to get to this point, and in order to remain healthy I can’t sacrifice that journey just for one cigarette.
For every smoker who wants to be a non-smoker the journey is different and my journey has brought me to this point 1,096 days smober. One day at a time, the journey continues.
p.s. I still want to know what happened to the money I saved #kmt
A Moment of Gratitude
More than once in the past few weeks have I had occasion to pause and to reflect on how grateful I am for the life that I have and the people that are in it. As simple as sharing a meal and laughter with friends, which I did yesterday, has caused me to feel incredibly grateful.
I am in no small measure grateful for my friends. My father died a few weeks ago and it is these friends who have helped me to grieve and supported me while I did so. I will be eternally grateful for the phone calls, bbm’s, visits, conversations, hugs, smiles and laughter of my friends during this period. It is for me incredibly humbling to be loved and cared for by so many people.
I have never been more grateful for my brother Dylan, he is my superhero. After our father’s passing my brother has been a tower of strength, taking control and making sure all the things that needed to be done got done. I am grateful that he has the strength to handle all those things the way he did.
More than anything I want my friends and family to know that I am grateful for them and love them all very much.
2012 ~ Invictus
Though this may seem like a repeat (I posted this poem at the beginning of 2011), it really is not. There is a poignancy to this poem that makes it constantly relevant for me. In 2012 I plan to own some of the sentiments of this poem as I never have before, this really will be a changing year.
I wonder if William Ernest Henley knew how impactful his words would be when he wrote them?? Sir, I salute you as I march into 2012 with your poem as my back drop!!
Invictus
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
Tweets from Barbados
So y’all know roaming charges are some shit, so my twitter account was signed out while I was on vacation. Mannnnn I wouldah tweeted some tings, so in that spirit, this blog is a hodge podge of things I would have tweeted at the time:
Praise gessass mi reach… This woman is a contagion monkey
This customs officer did NOT just ask me if I was related to Dudus. #sideye ((wait I did tweet that))
It takes 30 mins to get somewhere in this country…yuh too rass lie !!
Nothing better than family #realtalk
SPF 4 bitches, black girls tan too … #laidout at the pool
I’m gonna go ahead and hold my mule #period
Hawk is bad ass … At 73 he is str8 up old school #gangsta
Party up people.. #inthaclub
Thirsty is a universal language #inthaclub
They need some DjC in they life … Reggae nah mek di cut #inthaclub
When did Bajan men start getting there “swole” on ??? Gym be packed all day everyday!! #inthaclub
Ciroc + Moet = no kind a damn good #inthaclub
Its 5 o’clock in the morning, the conversation got boring …per ner ner
What’s with all these damn ity bity frogs geesass
The new species of mosquito is called the “mandingi” …. Manny is killing me !
Ohhh flipper u taste so damn good #oistins. …
Time to chill … Euuuurrrkkkkks maybe not #doroad
As much as I love pork, me and souse nah guh work out
I love my fam … Full out killing it … Bwahahaaaa
Nope they ain’t never seen the like of us, Grey goose 1ltr down, Mount gay white rum down, we standing strong … We got this !!
You know what, stop thinking, just do!!
#smile
My heart and soul needed this trip #period …
I love my family
2012 … Invictus … Nyree #period
So at the end of it all, Barbados was amazing for me … worth every single sacrifice that was made to make it happen. Would do it again in a heart beat. Matter of fact I do believe I will !!!
Happy New Year all !!
Puppy Love
Anyone that knows me will tell you that I am a big animal lover, dogs more so than any other animal. This is actually more than a little surprising since as a child I was deathly afraid of dogs. My family never owned dogs when I was little, but my grandmother in the country maintained a small pack. When visiting my granny my Uncle CV would have carry me from the car to the house and repeat the ritual when we were ready to leave. Forays into my granny’s yard were done either from the vantage point of an uncle’s shoulders or while maintaining a vice grip on my granny’s or grandpa’s leg. Even as I grew older and got bigger I was still always afraid of dogs, a situation not mollified when my hairdresser’s dog bit me in the ass (that’s a whole nother story).
My fear of dogs only began to change when my mother got me my very own puppy, Milo. Milo was my very first dog for whom I loved and cared. When she passed away in early 1997 I was devastated. My boyfriend at the time in an attempt to help get over the loss of Milo took me on a search to get a new puppy. Our first stop was the JSPCA, we were looking around the kennels but I was not seeing any puppies, then I noticed and sandy coloured pup with huge eyes peering at me from his kennel. It was love at first sight, the only puppy in the place, he was meant to be mine!! That was the day I took my Pupstar home.
On December 14th2011, at the Animal Care Veterinary Clinic I signed a piece of paper authorizing the vet to put my beloved Pupstar to sleep. So many years had passed; I could not at that moment imagine him not being a part of my life. I can only smile at the memories of my life with Pupstar. I can’t count the many pairs of shoes which met their untimely demise as Pupstar used my shoes to cut his teeth. Nor can I recall the countless nights I opened my bed room door to his “knocks” to have him plop down on my rug and go to sleep. I still feel the joy of coming home, whether from vacation or just a day at work and having Pupstar behave like I had been gone a lifetime and he was so excited to see me. Rushing to the door or gate tail wagging at a mile a minute and ears flopping in the breeze. So many nights he was my company when I was at home alone, my constant companion. Friends have often heard me say, the only thing I don’t like about living alone is that I do not get to have my dogs with me. Saying good bye to him that day is without question one of the most difficult things that I have ever had to do. That however was the choice that was made out of pure love, after all those years I would not have him live the last of it in pain and suffering. I will grieve for Pupstar as I would for any family member of mine, he was just that, my family.
RIP Pupstar Coke 1997 – 2011 … I will always love you!!
The Mighty 730!!!…
Two years of SMO-briety
I got my daily quit mail this morning and here is what it said ….
Your Quit Date is: Monday, May 11, 2009 at 12:00:00 AM
Time Smoke-Free: 730 days, 5 hours, 14 minutes and 18 seconds
Cigarettes NOT smoked: 14,604
Lifetime Saved: 3 months, 21 days, 13 hours
Money Saved: J$390,550.00
I honestly find it hard to believe that I stopped smoking 2 years ago, there are times when it feels like I stopped smoking only recently and then there are times that I forget that I ever did. So to honor my landmark I decided to write a blog about my journey to smo-briety (yeah I made up a word, sue me!!)
I can actually remember my first cigarette, a Benson & Hedges that I had secreted out of my uncles top pocket. I had grown up around smokers, my father smoked and my uncles smoked, so I was curious. At the end of my first cigarette all I could think was “bleh….I don’t get it”. It was years between then and when I actually started “really smoking”. I was for a long time what I call a “posing puffer”, you’ve all seen them, the person at the party cigarette in hand who take the maybe two or three puffs and never actually inhales. I can also remember the day I actually started really smoking, my friend Mark was visiting me at home when I lit up, he started laughing at me and said I wasn’t really smoking, he then showed me how to inhale, I can recall the heady rush as nicotine hit my system for the first time. That was that, I was now a smoker.
No matter what anyone says I am unapologetic about the years that I smoked, I used to enjoy smoking. Any smoker can tell you that there is nothing like that first cigarette of the day, add a cup of coffee to that and that is how I fortified myself to face the work day for many a year. My cigarettes were my constant companion, comforter, stress relief….cigarettes prevented many a cross word and diffused many a tense situation. Me and my cigarettes “had a time”.
But like anything else that time needed to come to an end. I had tried stopping many times before, but had always gone back after having “just that one cigarette”. This time around I had a plan, I set a date, I joined a support group, I got patches and enlisted the help of friends and family, for the first time I really wanted to stop smoking. For those you think you “just stop smoking”, that’s not how it works, everyone’s process is different, but the first step must be that you really want to and this time I did. On the night of Sunday May the 10th 2009 I smoked my very last cigarette and went to sleep, on the morning of May 11th I became a non-smoker.
I have no fear that I will ever start smoking again, even though every now and again out of the blue that old familiar craving will pop up. I don’t want to smoke, and I certainly don’t want to repeat the anxiety filled process of quitting again. I developed what is called a “quit cough” a few days after I stopped smoking, this happens when your lungs are trying to heal themselves, the black mucus I coughed up is a stomach turning sight I will never repeat.
So cheers to me and my mighty 730 days smoke free, I’m on to 1,095 next.
p.s. I still can’t account for that $390k…what the hell did I do with it!!!
Are you just A Dick?
After tweeting the link to a blog entitled “Are you Wifey or Pussy”?, @Sunshine031208 suggested I write a counter blog and after watching @mamachell video blog, I am even more encouraged to run with this topic…so here goes… Are you Husband material or just Dick???
Men, ever been curious to know how a woman sizes you up as either just Dick or a potential Husband?? While that may not be the most delicate way to put or for that matter how many women would put it, the reality is, some men only have Dick potential. The categorization is influenced by both parties, it’s how a woman views you and how you as a man put yourself forward to be viewed.
Over the years I have come to realize that many men labour under the misconception that having a dick automatically means that women see them as husband material and automatically want to fit that slot in your life. Men let me clear this up for you, it is NOT the case. Sometimes we see you only as Dick. That is not to say we won’t spend time with Dick, go to the movies, maybe have a little dinner or introduce him to a few friends, but slip on a ring and take a vow before God ….that’s not happening!! There are several things that can tell you if she thinks you have hubby or only dick potential…here are a few:
Have you met her parents? - It sounds cliché, but it is true, potential husbands get taken home to meet mom and dad. Understand a fine detail here however, Dick may “meet” mom and dad, but that’s only because she can’t avoid it. E.g. mom happens to be standing at the gate/door when you roll up to pick her up. Get it straight, as Dick you will have at most a waving relationship with mom and dad. Hubby now, will actually be encouraged to send time with the parent(s). Big family function coming up and you get told as an FYI as opposed to getting invited to come along….you know your status!
Would she have your baby? – And no this is not a trick question. Would she intentionally have your child? Take the litmus test, ask your lady and see what happens. Don’t just listen to the words coming out of her mouth, watch her reaction. That 1 or two seconds before she regains her composure is going to tell you a lot. Does she re-coil in horror? Do her eyebrows shoot up and her eyes bug out? Are the first words out of her mouth “You can’t be serious?” …your status is on the wall. If you are hubby material the thought of having a baby with you whether now or 2 years from now is not going to elicit any of those reactions.
Are you are only good on paper? – sadly there are quite a few of you out there like this. Got a good job …check, dresses well….check, no baby mama drama…check, check…check…check…and you meet all the requirements of her check list of what a hubby “should” be, but, though your resume may be good can you actually do the job or more to the point do you actually want the job. Mr. Good on Paper may treat a woman very well mind you, in the beginning she probably got the “full court press” in order to gain her attention, gifts, time, the wanna make you my wifey spiel. This however is short lived as Dick tends to have a very short attention span, 3 months top end. Once the “new” factor is over, it’s barely in sight barely in mind until it is time to board the next train to “pussyville” sadly for these men there is nothing beyond your ad DICK tiveness. You sir wear your status like cheap cologne and you reek of it!!
Can you hold a conversation? – What are you and your young lady talking about? After the giddy rush of say the first few weeks, when you spent hours on the phone talking about everything and nothing. Has the conversation dwindled down from hours to minutes? Is the focal point of the conversation “how you doing”, and then the tumble weeds start to roll through as you both dig for a something to talk about. Does she agree just a tick too quickly to say bye and move on to whatever “pressing” matter is going on…check your status!!
These are only the tip of the proverbial iceberg. Let me close by being clear on one thing, everything has a time and place, and yes Dicks can change and become hubby material. But we ladies can all admit there ain’t anything wrong with some good dick!!
Please note if you are the side piece, jump off, your status is automatically, JUST dick.
Thanks to @Sunshine031208 and @jcankash for the help with this 
p.s. follow me on twitter @nyree_ja
